Baby Feeding

What is so disturbing about natural term breastfeeding?

With the breastfeeding community going from strength to strength I see more and more beautiful videos of mothers who are breastfeeding shared on social media! Unfortunately they are almost always plagued by hundreds of comments, full of vicious debate. This is especially he case with the videos where the child is no longer an infant! What happened to live and let live…

The comments vary between stating  how “unnatural” it is to feed a toddler with milk from the mothers breast, and sure, it could probably be considered unnatural in a country where formula has become the norm! However, that doesn’t mean it’s biologically incorrect.


In these videos, mothers are baring it all in the hope of making another breastfeeding mother’s journey that little bit easier, that little bit more normalised.

How brave is that!!!!

I am a huge supporter and advocate for breastfeeding. If you’ve followed my blog you’ll know this. I have written about my heartbrake over not being able to breastfeed my daughter and I’ve written about my pride in persevering in breastfeeding my son.
I have vaguely brushed over how my son is now a toddler, but I’ve done so carefully and discreetly.

I share that I feel pride in that I’ve breastfeed my son, but what I don’t say is that I feel weary of the fact that I still am. My son was 3 in March and he is not ready to move on from the breast. I am, at this point conflicted. I would like him to feel ready to move on but I won’t force him.

I can’t even make my kids cleans their rooms! I’m not really the enforcing kind of mother!

Removing comfort and love in the shape of a breast, before a child is ready, is traumatic on a whole other level so regardless of my feelings, I continue. Not for me, but for him!

Don’t get me wrong, I love cuddling up with my blonde haired boy after a busy day. I love how my breastmilk still make his eyes flutter and his entire body relax in my arms. Tonight I looked down at him as he slipped away, this little boy of mine. He stretched his arm out and he stroked my belly, the place where he once lived.

He is just this little bundle of love. I smell him and he smells the same as he did 3 years ago. I try to almost inhale this moment as I know it won’t last forever.

To you he may look big but to me he is only just a day older then yesterday

As I listen to his calming breathing, I cry quietly.

Last night I made the unfortunate mistake of reading the comments left under a video of a mother breastfeeding her 3 year old.

Reading the comments made me feel angry and hurt at once. My son is 3- this could be me they we’re talking about!



“That’s disturbing”, “she’s abusing that kid”, “he is going to get bullied for what that sick woman is doing to him” and the worst one “she obviously just enjoy having her tits sucked”

I tried to argue how we are biologically meant to feed for so much longer then we do. I argued that my child isn’t even near biological weaning age- I linked research and information but it was ignored. Anecdotal comments in the form of ignorance prevailed.

I was told that I abuse my son.

As I’m lying here with tears running down my cheeks, I think about how awful we are to each other. How cruel and horrible we can be to absolute strangers whilst hiding behind a keyboard and taking no responsibility for the very real people, that we hurt.

Here is the thing that is starting to really infuriate me and confuse me at the same time!

Breastfeeding mothers feel judged by formula feeding mothers. The “breastapo” “or sanctimonious” are common insults thrown at breastfeeding mums who are eager to help other mums breatfeed.

Formula feeding mothers feel judged by breastfeeding mothers, many argue that “fedisbest” and want to support those who are struggling with guilt over bottle feeding.

But neither of these groups have ever felt the judgment that come down on someone who breastfeeds a baby past his first year of life. When we pass two years we are reaching the milestone for what many consider “disgusting“. At the age of 3 breastfeeding is “unnatural and wrong“, and at the age of 4 it’s “abuse and sick”- breastfeed past this and society deem you a pervert! 

So many are quick to condem breastfeeding yet no one condemns the abuse of mothers who are breastfeeding until natural term.

I was a formula feeding mother and I never passed judgement on a breastfeeding mother!

I was a breastfeeding mother and not once did I criticise or attack a formula feeding mother.

Now I am a natural term, breastfeeding mother and I have to tolerate judgement from both communities? Suddenly you get told “this is why I bottle fed” or “I breastfed for a year but that’s just wrong

Here’s the thing- feeling judged over decisions we believe to be the absolute best choices for our children, is awful and the only way we can step away from this horrid circle of criticism is by deciding to accept that everyone is different and  that we all lead different lives with different challenges!

 We make  decisions which suit us and as long as we make sure these decisions are well informed then they are justified.

Tonight I will go to sleep anxious that I’ve shared this. Anxious that I will receive more abuse. Yet I feel pride that I’ve spoken up for my son and his needs.

Should something that is so natural really have to be hidden? Who am I hurting by breastfeeding my young child?

My children are my world, unfortunately this cruel world do not deserve them

 

The only way to stop this ongoing abuse towards each other is by taking a step back and choosing to accept that we are not all the same and we do not make the same choices but as long as the choices we make are informed, no one else has a right to complain.


Lead with empathy, and treat others with respect. After reaching rock bottom it can only get better!

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Much love x

22 thoughts on “What is so disturbing about natural term breastfeeding?

  1. Amazing mum you are. Ignore the haters, stand up and be proud that you are doing you upmost to give your child an amazing start in life. We are still booing at 4.5 yrs! And very proud.

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    1. Hi Amelia,

      Unfortunately the site were I access photos didn’t have one of a older child feeding. I considered posting one of myself with my son but I have to admit I felt very exposed as it was, writing this so I choose not too include personal photos! I truly wish I could have found some! Maybe as I go on, I’ll get beaver and include a personal photo! Thank you for your comment ❤️

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  2. The point that sticks with me is, it’s okay for us all to drink from hundreds of anonymous cows, but not our own mother? People who say we feed for our own pleasure have clearly never fed a teething toddler! I published my first breastfeeding photo online recently on my blog. Proud of it! Love breastfeeding. Thanks for writing this. We need more voices!

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    1. Thank you for your comment Helen!

      I agree, we have normalised cows milk above human milk which is scary, isn’t it! So many misconceptions about breastfeeding out there.

      I’ll make sure to check your blog out! Looking forward to reading it:) ❤️

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  3. I love this piece, thank you for sharing. My little girl will be three on Sunday and also is showing no signs of wanting to wean. I feel proud that I feed her but I also don’t mention it very much, not because I’m ashamed or nervous but because I just don’t know how people would react and I couldn’t be bothered dealing with negative reactions. I don’t hide it either though. I think there are more natural term feeders than we thin, we just all tend to keep a little bit quiet over it 🙂

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  4. As a nation, we’re so removed from where all of our food actually comes from. People get upset if it’s not artificially shiny and packed in plastic! Same with breast milk vs cows milk. People get all squeamish when they do start thinking about the origin of their chosen food and drink, and breast milk is too ‘raw’ for them.

    Thank you for sharing. My baby 3.5 year old (who looks about 5/6) shares me with his 1 year old brother and will continue as long as they both want to. They’re so little still ❤️

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  5. aw you made me feel teary and I wanted to wrap some love around you for being brave enough to write this post.
    I found it very hard to talk openly about the ups and downs of feeding way past 4 and getting help with stopping.

    thank you for writing this

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So much love to you mama for writing this piece and these are some great comments too especially how removed people are where there food comes from. Why would I want to give my child milk from so strange cow I don’t even know? That feeds off of discarded candy, and injected with hormones and antibiotics?! My daughter is going to be 3 and I too am still breastfeeding with no end in sight. When she is ready. She has slowed down but whatever that’s not the point, it’s not abnormal and it’s not gross, these people that say these disgusting comments have severely damaged minds. To think of it as anything sexual is just absurd they would even go there! Wth is wrong with people? I’m telling you 98% of people are so far out of touch with reality and believe anything they see on tv. The WHO recommends until at least 2! In other parts of the world it’s perfectly normal to breastfeed until 5-7
    Even camels nurse past a year. Geez people wake the hell up. It’s the most nutritious form of food you can give to a child. The immunity building only gets better in the toddler years. Over 700 microbes in that breastmilk that will prevent your kid from getting all sorts of diseases and crazy good gut health WHICH is a huge epidemic as most people with toddlers are giving them some sort of laxative like miralax these days because they don’t poop. It’s so sad how tricked they all are into fake dead nutritionless food. You are not weird or gross or any of those things. Pardon me but FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. Breasts ONLY PURPOSE IS FOR BREASTFEEDING. Not their twisted sexual thoughts. They are the perverts 👊🏼

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  7. Thanks for this. I’m breastfeeding my one year old, and plan on continuing to feed him until it’s no longer right for us, whenever that may be, but I expect to have comments, even from friends, if he is older when we stop, which is sad. Nothing wrong with breastfeeding a toddler at all. People should live and let live xxx

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  8. Hey Momma, Well done! It truly is brave to write this post and I am so proud of you! I am currently breastfeeding my 18 month old whilst pregnant with our next bundle of joy and am already getting pressure to stop..I just tell them that I will not. End of discussion. I know there will be comments and discussions and opinions but I also know that if I give in, I will always feel like I did the wrong thing. I will keep breastfeeding until myself and my children decide it is time to stop, not before, not for anyone else’s beliefs or opinions. Thank you for putting your voice out there, it brings courage and strength to others who read your post. Keep going, you are DEFINITELY not alone!

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  9. Hi just in case anyone else has problems i liked this piece so I shared it but Facebook had removed it classing it ad ‘spam’ which I have appealed 😑 thankthanks for writing this though im feeding my almost 22mo and 1 month old, my eldest is nowhere near ready to drop all her feeds and even though it feels so normal to feed her I’m starting to feel defensivery feeding her if she asks out and about that feeling again like when she was new a fear of someone coming and saying something but it’s the best for her and such a special bond!

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