Gentle Parenting

I was fine….

After a few busy months I’m finally feeling inspired to write again- I decide to do some online reading in preparation for a new blog and it leads me down a dark road arriving at the dreaded “this is what we did and you were fine”.

You’ve likely heard someone rant away about this subject before, but I don’t feel I’ve said my peace.

“We gave you whiskey, and youre fine”, “We left your buggy in the garden so you could cry without bothering us and you’re fine”, “We didn’t have car seats and you’re fine”…. the “you’re fine” continue on and on- the never ending echo of mothers unwilling to admit that things have advanced, that we now know better.

Most people from the older generation respect doctors highly and would get a doctors appointment if they felt unwell, yet what the doctor has to say on infant health is considered nonsense.

You don’t diagnose your own ear infection but somehow you’re able to successfully assess when your baby is ready to digest solid food. It’s all mind blowing to me and worrying at the same time!

The bigger picture tells us that many babies were not fine, and infant death rates were considerably higher when unsafe practices were commonly used.

The bigger picture tells us that although many babies traveled without issues in a car without an infant seat, there were also many that never made it to the end of their journey- this bigger picture is why car seats where developed and why weaning and sleep guidelines were put in place- yet many completely refuse to accept the guidelines on infant care.

We happily skip in to the doctors for injections that are recommended. We make sure we go to the doctor if we feel under the weather, we even take our children to the doctors when they are unwell. In most cases we take the medication as directed and follow the guidelines on how to stay healthy, but if the good doctor suggest that putting a rusk in little Jane’s bottle may be dangerous and unhealthy he is silly, out of order even.

There is no need to listen, the “guidelines change monthly” and of course “you’re fine”.

But what happens when we do not turn out fine. Who picks up the pieces then? Who is responsible then?

Why are we so offended by the introduction of new guidelines? Why do many of us consider them a new way to criticise our parenting skills instead of embracing them and doing our best by our little humans by taking the guidelines onboard?

It’s not offensive to advice parents to advance and learn more and therefor do better.

Guidelines aren’t put in place to keep us guessing or to offend us, they are put in place to keep our young safe.

It’s not criticism of anyones parenting, it’s a simple guide of how we can learn and advance in all areas!

Compare the medical science of the 1950’s with what we know today, has it not changed? Have we not advanced and moved on?

Yes, I drank pre-made bottles, and I was weaned at 3 months of age. Yes- I am fine, but with more knowledge and guidelines we can aim beyond “fine”.

I’m not offended by those who know more then I do, I learn from them.

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